If youve ever mothered a three year old girl (and lord knows, I have) you know all about aiming high. Any little princess knows that sooner or later, their prince will show up and happily ever afters will be had with very little effort and a whole lot of singing. Thankfully, you can count on most of us ejecting Disney-style fantasies from our philosophy by the time we get jaded by the cooperative qualities of most woodland animals. But if youre in business, you appear to have a license to Wish Upon a Star.
Last month, the Britannia Hotel Group purchased the Pontins chain of British holiday camps. Now for the benefit of our non-British readers, its probably worth defining what a Holiday Camp even is, considering that its slightly more British than bad dentistry. The Holiday Camp set-up is perhaps not especially unusual, but it aint pretty: rows of caravans and chalets as far as the eye can see, with a central entertainment complex full of swimming pools, bowling alleys and nightclubs. Its the sheer mid-20th kitschness of the thing that is truly terrifying, like being stuck on a cruise with a George Formby impersonation troupe. St Lucia holidays they aint. Entering this bleak arena comes Alex Langsam, the new Pontins owner. He believes he has the perfect plan to turn around this tourism relic into a successful modern business. Its just not very good.
Mr Langsams plan is to emulate the Disney resorts. His hope is that Pontins can give British families the Florida holidays phenomenon on home soil. The beauty, for him, of the Disneyworld experience is that the adults enjoy it as much as the kids. Theres aiming high, and theres wishing that your excruciatingly British holiday camp was a multi-trillion dollar business that just happens to do holidays. Pontins may as well start offering Jamaica holidays by serving meat pies with jerk spice. Langsams idea is that there will be costumed reps along the lines of their cast members. Waving around 25 million GBP, Pontins are presumably not going to find their characters in-house (British mascot characters are never a solution, theyre the problem itself). Licensing famous kids characters from around the globe awaits. Dreamworks characters would fit the utter disdain that most people have for the Pontins brand. Even if they license likeable characters, they still refuse to jettison to Bluecoats.

















